Not today

New Shoes
July 23, 2017
The next step
August 5, 2017

Today was not the day.  It was not the day we heard Layla’s doctors say “she’s cancer free!” We had prayed so hard and hoped so fervently that we would hear those words.  Thousands of you had prayed and hoped with us.  Instead, we had to hear “I’m afraid I don’t have good news”.  Again.  Ugh.  

One thing I love about Layla’s oncologist is how much he loves her.  You can see the visible heartache for him as he describes the lump in his throat when he’s reviewing her scans.  He’s a very special man and we’re lucky to have him.  Once we get the bad news it’s time to get down to business.  What now?

We are all in agreement that radiation is a last possible option due to the major ramifications it will have on Layla’s cognitive function.  Best case, she’d likely have severe learning disabilities and worst case it would leave her totally disabled.  

There are more chemo options we haven’t tried yet, so that’s where we’ll start.  Like the last protocol, this one should allow her to have pretty good quality of life and (hopefully) she won’t lose her hair again.  
Some of you may be angry that our prayers were not answered.  Please don’t stop praying.  Bryan and I are frustrated too, but I feel in the depths of my heart that we’re simply not done yet.  God is not done yet.  I’d give anything to reach in her tiny body and remove each cancer cell by hand.  Since I can’t, we’ll keep resting in His strength one day at a time.  One moment at a time.  She is here today and that’s all that matters.  Tomorrow is never guaranteed for any of us.

One day Layla will be cancer free.  We know that to be God’s promise.  I trust and cling to that.